Horse and cart beckons again

Many years ago I came off the A1 at North Charlton and saw a new sign ‘unsuitable for buses’.

I was furious and wrote to Northumberland County Council and told them the road wasn’t suitable for a wheelbarrow, never mind a bus.

Please could they send a wagon-load of tar and a steam roller to get rid of the pot holes.

Do not send Laurel and Hardy with their pick-up truck and wheelbarrow (which they did).

Last year you printed a picture of the crater in the road, it is still the same, deeper and wider.

I have come to the conclusion NCC see us as hill-billies and want us to go back to using a horse and cart.

I think I will go and have a bit of practice and tie two sheep together with binder twine.

Now, where will I get some twine, I can’t take it off my breeks as they will fall down, or my coat as it will flap in the breeze.

My wellies are waterproof but an odd pair, my hat (or is that my head?) is full of straw, at least I will have a soft landing.

Oh I know, I will go down to the shack (sorry, shed) and cut a bale. I had better take the pitchfork off the rafters for Jed to scatter the straw.

Wish me luck, bye for now.

Name and address withheld by consent