ELDERLY: Why do we bother?

The new hospital, pictured from the air in October 2014. Picture by Airfotos
The new hospital, pictured from the air in October 2014. Picture by Airfotos

Okay, I confess! I am a member of the nasty subversive group known as The Elderly and our strategic aim is to bring the NHS and social care services to their knees.

We will do this in three ways. Firstly by growing older, secondly by catching as many illnesses (flu, colds, tummy bugs, etc), as we can from our so-called youngers and betters, and thirdly by having a number of falls, usually caused by slipping on icy, untreated pavements or tripping over badly-damaged paving slabs.

Perhaps we should be put down on reaching pension age. That way we wouldn’t have to keep wasting resources spending our massive State Pensions on local shops and businesses, doing voluntary work, caring for our grandchildren, or going for long walks, ie reaping the benefits of paying our taxes and NI contributions over a long working lifetime.

But, if this happens, you will find that most of the voluntary support services in the area will collapse.

That would leave the NHS free to concentrate on its real priority groups – The Intoxicated, The Smokers, The Clinically Obese and The Feckless.