1) You start watching satellite television channels which are devoted entirely to Christmas films – in the vain hope of finding one which you haven’t seen before.
2) Quizzes have questions such as “Name all of Santa’s reindeers” and “what did My True Love get on the ninth day of Christmas.”
3) Cranberry suddenly becomes the must-have ingredient in sandwich shops.
4) Couples – who spend every teatime eating meals in front of the telly – are discussing whether their table setting should be a snow scene.
5) You stock up on vile drinks that you wouldn’t touch at any other time of the year.
6) Your teenage child starts talking to you, and mentioning tablets and laptops.
7) You start scouring the pound shops for CDs with plinky plonky festive instrumental versions of carols on them. (Because secretly, you want to get all Christmassy while you drive to work)
8) The shops start filling up with hot cross buns.
9) Neighbours start the annual debate on who’s going put up their lights first.
10) Children start being nice. There’s no obvious reason other than they fear being on Santa’s naughty list.