Bodie AND Doyle were proper TV heroes of the 1970s. Hard men with a vast array of guns and a bad attitude. And, in the case of Doyle, a shocking bubble perm. In fact Doyle is probably the hardest man to ever sport a dodgy Kevin Keegan barnet.
Bomb
ing around the streets in Capris. And shouting. Loudly and aggressively.
A tough Scottish boss in a MacIntosh. Bodie AND Doyle's boss couldn't be anything but a Scot. Like MacKay, the dour screw in Porridge, there's just something about the snarl from blokes north of the border that commands respect. They make good gaffers, the Scots.
Drinking in a smoky pub at dinnertime and chasing birds. Knocking out villains with two smacks and wearing jeans and leather jackets rather than suits. Aye, Bodie and Doyle had it good.
Just look at Spooks now. It may be MI5, not nine to five, but the characters are soft. And they rely too much on technology.
Without the latest super mega-hyper-global-net equiptment, they're knackered.
Bodie would just headbutt one and tell them to shut it.
James Bond? Too smooth. Starsky and Hutch? Too American. Cagney and Lacey? Get real.
Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry was a mean cop – but you didn't feel he was inclinded to drag you down an alley and chin you like Bodie.
In fact, I'm not entirely sure what CI5 were supposed to do. But I still fancy a job.
My qualifications? I'm moody and bad tempered. That's a good start. I own a cracking long black DKNY leather jacket and have a canny sneer. I'm willing to slap on the Hi-Karate and give it a go.
But hang on one moment – I have to wear steel rimmed glasses.
Oh no, 'Allo 'Allo here I come!
