Actually, none of the above.
Instead, try a handful of highly-paid consultants charged with the task of changing the 'cultural identity' of the forthcoming unitary authority.
What does that mean? A new logo? A new lunch menu at County Hall? Or
endless reams of high-gloss dross rammed through our letter-boxes, telling us how much better off we'll all be under the new super-council?
The simple answer – even for the mandarins behind the budget – is that no-one really knows what these superstars of spin will come up with but most of us have a fair idea.
One thing is for certain, however.
Anyone lucky enough to land that million-pound contract will be laughing all the way to the bank.
Just like the chief executive.
You know, I think I must have chosen the wrong fork in my career path.
Just think of the riches I would now be enjoying if I had county council chief executive as my goal when I was a bairn.
Image consultant would have been another lucrative one.
And if only my parents or careers officer had pointed me in the direction of local authority image consultant, I would be minted.
Is it too late to change, I wonder.
"Are you having an identity crisis? Come to Alan Castle – he'll larn ya what's wrang."
I can see it now. Our bunch of highly-paid consultants sitting round a table musing over what to call Northumberland County Council, using the same words but not necessarily in the customary order so as not to link the new authority with the old regime.
They'll spend days scratching their heads and then they'll plump for the County Council of Northumberland or the County of Northumberland Council.
Why not the People's Popular Council for the Rural Locality Known as Northumberland? That'll fit nicely on the new bin wagons.
They'll think they are really smart, present their findings in a 104-page 'document', package it with an unrecognisable squiggle that will be launched as the new authority emblem in a blaze of glory and expect us to swallow it as an intelligent piece of work. Mark my words!
I wonder if we'll end up with the same image consultants who came up with the brilliant London 2012 Olympics scribbled logo.
If so, we're in for a treat of mind-boggling proportions.
